No one has a happy marriage by accident. Approaching marriage with a strong grasp on reality will help you be more resilient to disappointment and improve the quality of your relationship. Read through the following myths of marriage to make sure you maintain realistic expectations.
Myth #1: Getting Married Will Make My Life Complete.
Marriage is a complementary relationship, but that doesn’t mean your spouse is the only person you need. Do not expect your spouse to fulfill every need you have for happiness and contentment. You are responsible for making your life fulfilling, so seek to develop yourself outside of your relationship. This will strengthen your marriage by making you a balanced person.
Myth # 2: If I Am Unhappy, I Have Married the Wrong Person.
All marriages have their ups and downs. If you have been in a relationship for a significant amount of time, you will experience a rough patch now and again. Do not blame these normal relationship struggles on your partner. Instead, take responsibility for your part in the problem and look for ways you can contribute to the solution.
Myth #3: Marriage Should Feel Like Dating.
Romance is wonderful. It might be what brought you together in the beginning, and you should make an effort to keep it alive throughout your marriage. However, there will be days when romantic attraction is difficult. This is normal. You see all sides of a person when you live with someone. Romance may have brought you together, but friendship, hard work, and forgiveness will keep you together.
Myth #4: Letting Little Things Go Is Better Than Starting a Fight.
Often in marriages, couples choose to keep quiet when something is bothering them. They convince themselves that the problem is small and not worth fighting over. While you don’t have to make everything a battle, it is healthy to voice your complaints in a respectful manner. Choosing to withhold complaints builds resentment. Plus, discussing the problem when it is a small annoyance will make the discussion that much easier.
Myth #5: The Absence of Fighting = Good Marriage.
The absence of conflict is not a measure of health when it comes to marriage. Some healthy couples argue frequently while others seem to never have a disagreement. Each couple has their own unique style of conflict. The presence of humor, openness, respect, and honesty is a more important measure of health than lack of conflict. Fighting fair and agreeing to disagree help strengthen a marriage.
Myth #6: Once We Get Married, My Partner Will Change.
Some partners convince themselves if their spouse has some kind of issue, it will resolve itself once they enter into a marital commitment. Unfortunately, this rarely happens. Partners often represent themselves as positively as possible during the dating phase, and the problems they had before will still be there when the wedding is over.
Myth #7: Our Marriage Will Stay Healthy without Work.
Everything worthwhile requires hard work, including marriage. You wouldn’t expect to stay healthy if you didn’t exercise regularly and eat a balanced diet. Likewise, you shouldn’t expect a strong marriage to come naturally without continual effort from both partners.
Myth #8: My Spouse Will Know What I Want without Me Asking.
It would be great if our partners could read our mind, but this is impossible. Practice asking for what you want rather than expecting your partner to automatically know what you want. True intimacy involves opening yourself up and trusting your partner. Your partner cannot do this if he/she doesn’t know what you need.
Myth #9: Children Will Bring Us Closer.
The first year following the birth of a child is difficult for many couples. It involves a lot of adjustment and sleepless nights, both of which can be romance killers. You will see your partner in a whole new light when they become a parent, and this light is not always positive. Over time, your marriage will grow stronger if you find ways to stay connected during this stressful time.
Myth #10: Marriage Is for Everyone.
Marriage is not something that everyone wants. Getting married involves risk, and some may not find the risk worth the benefits. Some couples aren’t a good match. Some people simply prefer to live alone. Deciding to stay single does not mean less of a life, just a different one. By taking an honest look at the life you hope to create, you can choose to pursue your dreams with a partner or on your own.